why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
