I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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