You're completely useless in the revolution.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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