My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
