it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
