May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
