there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
