I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
