I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
