This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
