how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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