Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize