My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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