I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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