OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How's work?
Spinning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
