Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize