I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
