I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
