The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so let's talk penis.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
