you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
