My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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