Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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