'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
