Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
