Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
