The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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