i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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