At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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