i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
