You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
