no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
