my mouth tastes like poor choices
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
