what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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