My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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