This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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