I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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