Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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