hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
