Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
