It's Friday. Sex?
Do vagina's smell?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
