You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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