we have officially lost it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
