you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
