I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The best revenge is premature balding
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I will be naked everywhere
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
