just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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