Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ejy1989 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.

Fav 24 8129 1011
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

Fav 10 6365 1262
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

Fav 10 6027 1148
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

Fav 11 5481 1153
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

Fav 7 9153 1393
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

Fav 55 22260 1884
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

Fav 2 1963 947
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.

Fav 1 253 247
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand

Fav 0 11 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT