so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
