I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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