I got chris browned last night
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
this beer tastes like vomit already
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
