Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
A+ Viking dick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
