And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i think my cat just said my name.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
