Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I am morally bankrupt
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
