i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
