What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
