awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wish I only lived at night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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