I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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