if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
