I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
