ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize