how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize