Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
