my room smells like sperm. sweet.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
