yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
