Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
